Shattered Emotions (Redwood Pack) Read online

  Shattered Emotions

  by

  Carrie Ann Ryan

  http://www.carrieannryan.com/

  Copyright Fated Desires Publishing, LLC

  Carrie Ann Ryan

  June 2013

  Cover by Scott Carpenter

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locals or organizations is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the author.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Shattered Emotions Summary

  Maddox Jamenson is the Omega of the Redwood Pack, the one burdened by emotions stronger than his own. He's spent his entire life shrouded in the secrets of his "gift" and the price he has to pay to keep it, yet the cost just escalated. He's known a mate could be in the cards for him, but he can't have what he wants. Not when the battles he has yet to fight could destroy her.

  Ellie Reyes was the Central's princess, the daughter of the most hated Alpha of all time, yet not prized. No, she's spent her life as the toy of her brother's sadistic torture and has endured a pain that no one else should have to even contemplate. Though when she's rescued, the one person who could help her, her mate, turns his back on her for reasons unknown to her. As each day passes, the strength that everyone sees in her dwindles to a point that there may be no coming back from.

  When the Centrals find a new way to attack, leaving Ellie's only protection a mate that she doesn’t think wants her, they’ll both have to overcome their fears and fight for something stronger than their pain. The war isn't over and new players are coming that will decide the outcome. Maddox and Ellie's connection will be tested even as their fragile bond is only newly forming.

  Dedication

  To Leia Shaw and Lia Davis who when I first wrote A Taste for a Mate years ago said "Oh I hope that girl with the fire in her eyes gets a story.” Yes, Ellie, you got your story.

  Acknowledgments

  This was the book I had been so excited to write and so scared to write all at the same time. How do you write about the character you fell in love with the most? How do you write the story were your readers begged and pleaded more for than any other character?

  Maddox and Ellie are both such reader favorites that I almost couldn’t write this book.

  Actually, I wrote this book four times.

  What you’re about to read is the final act of what happens when Maddox and Ellie get not only what they want, but what they need.

  I couldn’t have done this without Lia Davis, Devin, Donna, my betas, and Vickie. I couldn’t have thought about this without my teams and a few readers who begged for Maddox’s story.

  Thank you guys for standing by me while I wrote the story that needed to be written—not the one where rainbows and unicorns are in abundance, but where Maddox and Ellie can maybe find that peace.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  A peek at Her Lucky Love by Carrie Ann

  A peek at Her Warriors’ Three Wishes by Carrie Ann

  A peek at Tales of the Were: Slade by Bianca D’Arc

  Prologue

  “She’s going to die. No, she needs to die,” Corbin muttered. He paced his dungeon room, the light from the bare bulb reflecting off the knives he’d just cleaned so he could attempt to discipline his latest ‘toy’.

  None of his most recent toys had been worth the trouble.

  No, they were never her. Never his sister.

  Though he’d always kept spares, so he could indulge his other urges, Ellie had been the one who could endure the pain the way he wanted. No matter how much she suffered at his hand, the fire in her eyes had never left. Yes, it had trickled to an almost dull flame, but it had never extinguished.

  The fire died too quickly in these others. Frustrating. Irritating.

  Maybe he just had to cut deeper, harder, and more often.

  “Your sister will die, eventually,” Caym, his demon lover, said as he ran a hand down his back. “You know she can’t die yet. We have plans for her. If you’d step out of your room more often, you’d know we already set forth the first of those plans.”

  Corbin winced at the not-so-subtle reprimand in Caym’s tone. Though Corbin was the Alpha of the Central Pack, it was Caym who made most of the decisions. It didn’t matter much to Corbin really. No, he had all the power and play he wanted, plus a demon to take the edge off the building frustration within him—a demon with such pristine features he resembled a fallen angel.

  He was so pretty, and Corbin never had the urge to scar that face.

  Just like how he’d never scarred Ellie’s face. No, but he’d scarred her everywhere else. Often. He’d even scarred her twin sister, but not as much. Her fire, and their cousin’s fire, had died so quickly that he’d ended up playing with husks.

  Not something he wanted.

  Now the latter two were dead—in order to bring Caym to the human realm—and he’d lost his Ellie when the damn Redwoods had taken her with them and enveloped her in their Pack.

  Those fucking Redwoods.

  They were going to die; they had to die.

  And if—no, when—Caym’s plan worked, they’d die from the inside out; like a rotting corpse, ripe for the plucking by the birds of death.

  Yes, he’d enjoy the feast.

  “Ellie will be ours,” Caym whispered in his ear, sending icy shivers down his spine.

  “Soon,” Corbin agreed.

  Soon.

  Chapter 1

  Maddox Jamenson ran a hand through his too-long hair and looked out onto the land that had for so long called to his family and Pack. The tall trees weren’t redwoods, but damn close because they seemingly touched the clouds, reaching for something that he didn’t even know if he needed. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of the party he was late to, but ignored it.

  They’d just have to wait a bit longer.

  The cool October air tickled the back of his neck, sending shivers down his body, though those shivers didn’t just come from nature. No, the power he held as the Omega of the Redwood Pack drained then filled him with more emotion than he should have been able to take.

  Being the Omega was his job, his destiny. He could feel every emotion from his Pack, every need, want, desire, and heartache. It was up to him to block it all out or take it in and try to help.

  One day he’d take a break from it though.

  Step away from the Pack and the den, if only for a moment.

  If only to breathe.

  He held back a laugh. No, that wouldn’t be any time soon. Not in a time of war and strife. In a time of loss and new
life within his own family.

  He was Maddox—he’d stay where he needed to be.

  Alone, but surrounded.

  He was so freaking tired, and he really didn’t know why.

  Thoughts of dark eyes and an even darker past flashed through his mind, and he closed his eyes.

  Oh, yeah, that’s why he was so tired.

  “Mad?” Cailin, his baby sister, called as she came up to stand beside him.

  Maddox looked down at her striking beauty, her black-blue hair and stunning Jamenson-green eyes. Even though she was only in her twenties, he knew he’d have to start fighting off potential mates soon. No way was he going to let his little sister get hurt.

  “What is it, Cai?” he asked as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Unlike the rest of his family, he wasn’t that comfortable with touching others. He’d held Bay when she’d needed him after the birth of her son, but he didn’t like hugging anyone else—except his sister.

  And maybe her…

  No, never her…

  “Why are you out here standing all alone?” she asked. She leaned into his hold, loneliness, a common emotion with her, leached off her and seeped into his chaotic hold on his own emotions.

  He shrugged, not really knowing the answer. He’d always preferred to be alone, especially these days. The feelings that came from being the Omega fell on his shoulders with a heavy still silence that never went away.

  Cailin scoffed, and he was pretty sure he could feel her rolling her eyes. She wasn’t very subtle.

  “You need to stop moping, brother mine.”

  “I’m not moping,” he countered.

  “Oh, shut up. You’ve been moping since you-know-who came you-know-where.”

  “Oh, my, however shall I figure out that code of yours?” he teased, not liking that she saw right through him.

  “Well, I could say her name for you if you’re that lost.” This time a happier emotion drifted from her. She smiled, and he pinched her arm.

  “Hey! I’m going to tell Mom!” She rubbed her arm and stuck her tongue out.

  Maddox threw his head back and laughed—something he hadn’t done much of lately. “Oh, my God, you’re like twelve.”

  “Am not.”

  “I’m not going to argue with you.”

  “Why are we fighting?” she asked and smiled again.

  “Because you’re a pest and my baby sister.”

  Cailin let out a breath. “I really wish all of you would stop calling me your baby sister. It’s not like I’m in diapers anymore. I’m a woman.”

  Maddox closed his eyes and groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

  “Hey! I don’t understand what your problem is. Kade and Jasper went out all the time and found women. Reed found men and women. Adam wasn’t a monk before Anna. You’ve had your fair share, even if you’re hiding most of it. And, North…well, I don’t really want to think about what North’s up to.”

  Maddox shook his head, trying to get the images of North doing whatever the hell he did out of his mind. In fact, he tried to keep his twin out of his mind more often than not, especially lately when the betrayal that was of his own making tasted too fresh. He’d been the one to push them together so he’d be the one to deal with it.

  “You’re not allowed to date,” Maddox ordered, ignoring the pain that came with thinking of North.

  Cailin leveled a look at him. “Um, I think I am, and I have been dating if you haven’t noticed.”

  Rage filled him, his fists clenching as his heart raced. “What? Who? What little prick do I have to kill?”

  Cailin threw up her arms and stomped away before she turned around, stomped right back, and got in his face.

  “You see? This is why I don’t mention it. I’m a woman. Not a girl. A woman. I’ve dated humans and wolves. Not that I’d let you know who. Oh, and I’m not a virgin. Just so you know.”

  Maddox covered his ears with his hands and hummed.

  No, there was no way his baby sister was talking about…well…sex.

  No. Freaking. Way.

  “Sex. Maddox. Sex. Sex. Sex.”

  “Stop it, Cailin!”

  “Oh, my God! You’re such a prude!”

  “And you’re too young to have sex.”

  “Oh, shut up. It’s not like I’m screwing every man I see.”

  Maddox closed his eyes again and prayed for patience. “I would hope not. We’re already in a war with the Centrals. We don’t need to kill our own Pack members.”

  Cailin rolled her eyes. “You need to grow up. Okay? I’m being safe—with my body and my heart. I haven’t found a mate yet, and my wolf is just now starting to want one. When it happens, I don’t want my brothers beating him up.”

  “I’m not making any promises. You have six of us, plus Josh. Not to mention what the women will do. Oh, yeah, and our folks.”

  “I know, hence why I’m telling you.” Acceptance seeped off her, giving him another taste of emotion.

  “I don’t want to think about you and a man. Okay?”

  “Fine, don’t think about it. Just don’t get in the way. Now, do we want to talk about your mating?”

  “No.” Hell freaking no.

  “No?”

  “No. Now, I’m going to go talk to Dad,” he said as he brushed by her.

  “Maddox Jamenson! Don’t you dare tell Daddy what we talked about!”

  “You know, you only call him Daddy when you’re in trouble.”

  “Oh, shut up. Don’t you dare tell him I had sex.”

  “You’ll have to catch me first.” He took off at a run, Cailin chasing behind him at full steam, which was difficult in the dress she wore for the party they were late to.

  He wouldn’t actually tell his dad. Some things were sacred, though if some bastard thought he could touch Maddox’s baby sister, that would be another story. He’d have to do some digging on his own—after the party.

  Cailin jumped on his back and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Don’t, Maddox!”

  He laughed, even though she was blocking his air. She released her hold, and he tossed her to the ground. She glared at him from below him, her dress pooling around her and her eyes glowing gold as her wolf rose to the surface.

  “I won’t, lady bug butt.”

  “I hate when you call me that. And you got my dress dirty.”

  “You’re the baby, get over it. They’re used to seeing you in mud. You’re a tomboy, even if you try to hide it.”

  “I hate you, Maddox.”

  “Love you, too, lady bug butt.”

  Maddox gripped her hand and picked her up off the ground as they both walked toward the den center where Adam and Bay’s belated mating ceremony was being held. They’d have to be ready to smile and act like the two of them—Maddox and Cailin—were perfectly happy being the few unmated Jamensons. Even if it was of his own choice in his case.

  His baby sister had put a smile on his face, even though she gave him more worries than he needed at his age. Maybe everything would be okay.

  He spotted a wisp of dark hair out of the corner of his eye and froze.

  Well, hell, maybe not that okay.

  North, his twin, walked up to him, the object of Maddox’s pain on his arm. He and North looked almost identical with the same too-long sandy blond hair, same jade-green eyes, same athletic build.

  North, however, was missing the jagged scar on the right side of his face.

  Not that Maddox would have ever wanted his brother subjected to that.

  Not for anything his twin had done in the past, present, or future.

  He still loved the man, even if it hurt to look at him.

  “Oh good,” North said, “I’m glad we’re not the only ones running late. I have a feeling Adam and Bay won’t mind since they only have eyes for each other.”

  Maddox nodded silently and forced his gaze to North’s companion.

  Ellie Reyes.

  His mate.

  Or, at least, his could-be mat
e. Wolves had a few potential mates out there, some more suited than others, so that didn’t mean when one found that potential they had to mate.

  Maddox couldn’t mate Ellie. Though the mating urge had reared up and rode him hard, he hadn’t marked her, hadn’t mated her—despite how desperately he wanted to.

  She wasn’t to be his.

  His wolf nudged along the inside of his skin, whimpering but, as always, didn’t say anything.

  Ellie stood by North’s side, that haunted look in her dark brown eyes reaching out to Maddox. He couldn’t feel her emotions though—just as he couldn’t feel North’s. It could have been considered a blessing, but Maddox was never sure.

  He wanted to know what made her tick, what went on in that mind of hers. He wanted to be able to help her, even if he couldn’t bear to be near her.

  North gave him a bland look, but Maddox could see his twin clench his jaw. Ellie stared at him as if she wanted him to say something, but he had no idea what.

  “We’re already late, guys. We don’t want to be any later,” Cailin said over the rising tension.

  Maddox shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts of the woman with dark eyes who could have been his and wasn’t.

  North looked between Maddox and Ellie, a shuttered look on his face, then nodded. “Agreed. I’m not in the mood to deal with the wrath of any of the Jamenson women.”

  Maddox blinked, tearing his gaze from Ellie. He was only torturing himself.

  They made their way to the den center where the mating ceremony between Adam and Bay would take place. Though the couple had been mated for almost two years, they hadn’t had the ceremony or celebrated their joining with their family and Pack yet.

  Maddox couldn’t really blame them for waiting, not when their meeting had been too tumultuous to begin with. Adam had almost lost Bay with his pain—Maddox hid a wince at that.