Shameless WIth Him: A Less Than Novel Read online

  “I’m not taking you out to some fancy tea or something,” I said, grumbling.

  John snorted. “Not that either. Maybe we’ll go see a game or something. I don’t know. You decide. I already have a lot of other decisions to make.” He started to rub his temples, and I snorted.

  “Lacey having fun?”

  “I love her. I love her with every ounce of my being. But the number of spreadsheets that go into planning a wedding? There are flow charts, Caleb. Actual flow charts.”

  I smiled then, imagining Lacey running around John with a binder full of wedding plans. That sounded about right. “Is Zoey her best woman? No, maid of honor, right?”

  “I think you should call her the best woman. She’d probably like that.”

  “Probably.”

  “Yes, she is. And I’m glad that you know her pretty well. Because I think Lacey wants the two of you guys to work together often.”

  There wasn’t a tone of matchmaking or sly innuendo in that, simply serious wedding planning. Which was good. Because I wanted nothing to do with matchmaking. Or relationships. Or anything.

  “Yeah, she’s a good girl.”

  “Actually, she’s a woman, so I wouldn’t call her a girl, or she might get snappy about that.”

  “That is true,” I said, thinking of the way she usually growled when I was around. I said things like that, mostly because I liked to needle her. It was either that or remember the night I almost hadn’t been there in time. But I wasn’t going to think about that now.

  “Anyway, other than the stag party, what else do I have to do?”

  “I don’t know yet.” John winced. “Lacey will give me a list. Or Lacey will give Zoey a list to give to you. Either way, I have a feeling you will be working together closely in the future.”

  My brows shot up. “Zoey has a full-time job and owns her own business. And I work full-time, too. How much time are we actually talking about?”

  John shook his head. “Not too much. I hope not. It really just depends on how things go. You know?”

  “I have no idea how to help you with this. But I’ll make sure that you get to your wedding on time, and I’ll hold the rings and your speech or whatever else you need. I’ll be there for you. Promise.”

  “Thanks. I’m glad to know that I’ll have you in my corner.”

  “Of course, I am. It’s not like you can have your three sisters up there as your best man.”

  “You know, I asked, and they got all affronted. They’re going to be in the wedding party, though. So, they’ll be part of it. However, they refused to stand by my side. It’s not like they’re my sisters or anything. Blood, you know. Blood.”

  I laughed. “I’m glad that you’re going to be part of this. And the rest of the guys.”

  “We have time. Not that much because you know I’m moving and, therefore, we don’t have as much time as Lacey would like to revisit matters. But she’s going to be my wife. And that’s all that matters.”

  “Yeah, that’s all that matters.”

  “It’s like a future, you know? A real one. With the love of my life. I can’t wait.”

  I sipped my coffee and nodded, trying to smile. A future. That would be nice. To know exactly where you were going and what would happen. I just didn’t know. And I hated that I didn’t. I rubbed my temple, realized I was doing it, and let my hands fall. My head didn’t hurt, and I should be grateful for that. My palms weren’t sweaty, and I didn’t have to throw up. I didn’t see things that I shouldn’t.

  I just didn’t know what was coming next.

  It was fine. I could still have a future. This didn’t have to be the end.

  “Anyway, I need to head back into work. Are you off for the afternoon?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I’m doing four tens for the next quarter or so to see how I like it.”

  “I’ve always wanted to do that, but I end up working five tens as it is.”

  I grinned. “Oh, I know exactly how that is. Now, though, I get overtime.”

  “That you do. I just get pain in my back. And probably an ulcer.”

  I rolled my eyes and said goodbye as John headed back to work. I sat there and finished my coffee, wondering what exactly it meant to be a best man. And what it would mean to work with Zoey day in and day out. Zoey, the one person who had been a constant in my life other than my family. And the one who seemed to haunt my dreams, even though she really shouldn’t. In the end, it wouldn’t matter, though. Because I wasn’t going to make a move, I wasn’t going to do anything about it.

  Because I didn’t have that type of future.

  And if my fate really fucked me over, I wasn’t going to have a future at all.

  * * *

  Zoey

  “I love weddings.” Amelia sighed from my side, and I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

  I was a florist. I loved everything about that special day. However, seeing two of my best friends walking on clouds as they discussed their own nuptials was a bit much, even for me. Not that I begrudged them their happiness. In fact, I was just as excited as they were usually. However, it was when they went all Disney princesses and sighed dreamily into their clasped hands that I wanted to laugh.

  “I know you love weddings,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Don’t you shake your head at me. One day, you too will be engaged, and you will have bride fever. I didn’t even realize I was going to get bride fever. I honestly don’t know how I feel about it. I’ve become this monster, and I’m not even truly planning the wedding yet.” She wiggled her fingers, her engagement ring sparkling in the light. “I can’t believe two weddings are coming. Other than your sister’s!”

  Erin snorted and shook her head, too. “I do not have bride fever.”

  Amelia and I met gazes before we burst out laughing.

  “What? I did not have bride fever for my first wedding, and I’m not going to have it this time either.”

  “First, you were like a zygote the first time you got married,” Amelia started, and I just went back to working on the hand-tied bouquets at my workstation. I had a million things to do, and only a few short hours to get them done. I’d finish on time, but I also needed to focus.

  “Nice,” Erin said, her voice a little biting. But still full of love. We were friends, after all. It’s what we did.

  “Second, you are already like three notebooks into your wedding planning.”

  “Well, that might be true, but we’re all newly engaged, so I’m having fun with it. We haven’t actually started the real planning.”

  I closed my eyes and groaned. “Let’s not talk about wedding plans until I’m done with Lacey’s. And then we can work in an orderly fashion on the two of you. How’s that?”

  The girls looked at me and frowned.

  “Lacey is worse than us?” Amelia asked.

  I cringed. “I don’t want to say worse. But that’s because it’s rude.”

  “Saying I had bride fever was rude,” Erin said and then laughed. “Okay, you’re right. I didn’t realize I’d become a Bride.” She said the word bride as if it had a capital B and was emphasized.

  “You guys are great. And I know you’re both really newly engaged and are having fun with it. When the wedding plans come, I will be right there for you. But please do not have me on speed dial, ready with text alerts that say 9-1-1 when it comes to bridal emergencies.”

  “We’re not even close to the date. How does she have a bridal emergency? She afraid she’s going to get a zit on the wedding day?”

  I shrugged at Amelia. “Well, I’m sure that will come up too once we get closer to the ceremony. However, right now, she’s worried that they’re not going to have everything we need in the time we need it once she picks her color palette.”

  Erin nodded. “It’s going to be a big wedding, and there’s not a lot of time to get everything done with the big move right around the corner.”

  “Nope, but she’s a drill sergeant, so we’ll get i
t done. However, she’s making me be part of every single decision. Even though I don’t have an actual say, I have to be there for it. And I love my sister. I truly do, but I did not realize that I was going to be this much a part of the process when I signed up for this.”

  “Did you really sign up for it, or did she sign you up?”

  “Touché,” I said, and then the three of us laughed.

  “All I know is when we get down to the nitty-gritty for your weddings, I am here for all the help you need. But please don’t need as much help as Lacey does.”

  “We won’t be that bad,” Amelia said, then grinned over at Erin. “Maybe. However, we do have to decide on maids of honor.”

  “Please don’t make it be me,” I said and then laughed at the affronted looks on their faces. “I’m kidding. Just, you know, don’t be Lacey if I am. I love her, but dear God.”

  “I’m pretty sure that you’re going to cross-stitch that on a pillow for your house.”

  “Right?” I said at Amelia’s words.

  “We were sort of thinking we would do what the ladies of Friends did,” Erin said, grinning.

  “You mean Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe?” I asked, frowning, trying to remember the episode.

  “Exactly. They all decided to be maids of honor for each other. You just have to decide who’s going to be first.”

  “That’s actually a really good idea. But what about your sister? Or my sister?” I asked.

  Amelia winced. “Yeah, we thought of that. But if that’s who you choose, then we’ll make that work, too. However, you said yourself, you don’t like being your sister’s maid of honor, what would happen if she was your maid of honor?”

  Images of what had happened when Monica was Phoebe’s maid of honor, and Monica had driven Phoebe crazy slid into my mind. “Well, Monica did get the job done,” I said. Erin snorted.

  “Your sister’s going to drive you crazy. I love her just like you do, but…” Erin trailed off, and I shook my head.

  “You barely even know her.”

  “Okay, fine. I like her. She’s a great girl. However, you told me yourself that she would be too much for you.”

  That was true, but I did feel kind of bad. “And I know she only picked me to be her maid of honor because she knows she can walk all over me. She’s my baby sister.” And she had almost died. But I didn’t mention that. However, the girls knew. “So, I guess you’re right, I wouldn’t want my sister to be my maid of honor.” And now I felt like a heel.

  “And I already talked to my sister about it. She’s far too busy with the girls and life anyway. And she’s pregnant again.” Erin grinned at the word, and I clapped my hands.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. She’s due right around the wedding if we go with the date Devin and I were thinking of picking. I told her we could wait, but she nixed that idea quickly. She asked if she could sit rather than stand. Mostly because she’s been on bed rest with the other babies, and we’re worried.”

  “That makes total sense.” I paused. “She’ll be okay, though, right?”

  “That’s the plan.” Erin frowned. “My sister is the strongest person I know. So, yes, she’ll be fine. But I don’t want to put any undue stress on her and the baby. She will be a matron of honor in spirit, but will not be part of the wedding party. I want you two to be. Is that okay?”

  “I think that’s perfect.” I reached out and squeezed her hand while keeping my other clasped tightly around the bouquet.

  “And,” Amelia said, cutting in, “since you’re super busy on Lacey’s, I figured I should be Erin’s maid of honor first because her day is coming up before mine. And then you can be mine, and Erin can be yours.”

  “That sounds wonderful,” I said, and the girls clapped again. Brides. “Except for the fact that I’m not engaged. Meaning we may have to wait a long time for that.”

  Or, you know, eternity.

  “You never know, we weren’t looking for love when it happened.”

  I blinked at Erin’s words and then looked over at Amelia.

  Amelia raised a finger. “Okay, I was looking for love when I found Tucker, I just wasn’t looking for him.”

  Erin and I couldn’t hold back an, “Aw.”

  “Right? I love him so much.”

  Amelia returned to looking like a Disney princess, and I rolled my eyes and went back to work. I nicked my finger on a thorn, growled at myself, and moved to wash my hand. I cleaned out the wound, added Neosporin, and then went back to work. It was routine at this point.

  The girls were sorting for me, both of them having taken their lunch break to help me with backup. I had a large wedding to do flowers for—centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, and mussy tussies for the mothers. Lots of things to do, but I was getting it done.

  Erin had already finished the wedding cake, at least as much as she could. She would work on the rest in the morning, the day of the wedding. Amelia wasn’t part of this deal since they were having an indoor ceremony, and they didn’t need landscaping, but we were having fun with it.

  I loved my job, I really did, but the thought of weddings, so many of them all at once, was a little overwhelming. And it reminded me of the fact that, yes, there was an imaginary groom in my dream wedding.

  Caleb. And I still didn’t have a plan for how I was going to get him to notice me.

  Maybe I just needed to be in his vicinity. Often. And with the way that Lacey’s wedding plans were going? That was going to happen eventually.

  “So, are you and Caleb working together?” Erin asked, and I nicked my finger again. How did the woman always know when I was thinking about Caleb?

  “Damn it,” I cried out and went to rewash my finger.

  “Having issues over there?” Amelia asked, tongue in cheek. They’d watched me stab my fingers countless times, so they knew I wasn’t really hurt.

  “This is just a thorny bunch. It’s pissing me off. And I’m not really working that much with Caleb yet.” I tried for casual, but the girls met each other’s gazes. None of us talked about my crush on Caleb. They all saw it. However, they were good enough to lie to me about it. At least, they didn’t lie with their words, but rather the fact that we all ignored it. And I was just fine with that. I had to come to terms with my feelings for Caleb on my own first. Which I was at least actively trying to do.

  “Lacey wants to know more about what John has planned for his stag party, so I’m going to have to call Caleb soon about it. And then there’s something about tuxes that’s on my to-do list. But I’ll get there. So, soon, I’ll have to work with Caleb often. But not right now.”

  “And you’re good with that?” Amelia asked casually.

  “Yes, we’re friends. We’re the group. Remember?”

  “Yes, we’re friends. That works.”

  I didn’t miss the tone of Erin’s voice, but I ignored it.

  Because I didn’t know what was going to happen next. I didn’t know if I should. After all, I was jumping off the deep end, only I had to make that leap first.

  And that meant I should probably call him.

  Even if I was scared to death of what would happen once I did.

  Chapter 5

  Caleb

  I sat behind my desk and tried not to vomit. Jesus Christ. Why did it have to happen now? Oh, yeah, because it happened out of nowhere. At all times, of any day. There were signs, things that other people could see, at least. I couldn’t. I didn’t know when the migraines were going to hit, but I knew they were going to be bad.

  Today, however, it wasn’t going to be too terrible. Felt more like a regular headache, and I could keep going. A friend of my brother’s had migraines that were similar to mine from what I heard. Those that made it hard to even want to eat or open your eyes.

  Mine were getting just as bad, but the problem was that they came with other physical symptoms. Add in the fact that I wasn’t sure if what I saw was real... And, yeah. What was truth, what was fiction, what was an illus
ion?

  It scared the fuck out of me.

  Crippling migraines and something that could be far worse than a migraine meant that I didn’t work with my hands anymore. I wasn’t out in the field, wasn’t in Alaska any longer. I was home. Back in Denver. Because I needed my family, my brothers and my sister. And I needed to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. But no number of scans were going to figure that out.

  At least, that’s what they told me. They needed more information.

  And I hated that I didn’t have any to give.

  My stomach hurt, and my palms were sweaty, but I kept going, working on plans for the next site. I had moved over to construction when I returned to Denver, thinking maybe I could work with my hands again. But I couldn’t.

  I had a couple of friends in the business, people that were actually now Dimitri’s relatives, ironically. The small world that was Denver and all that. I wasn’t working for them, but I worked in a company that worked with them sometimes.

  Right then, my job was as an overseer, getting all the little, nitty-gritty pieces of a construction site for a large company going. That meant I had to see to all the details, deal with emails and phone calls and materials and all that shit. I was the one who did all the planning now, and I had experience with it. After all, I did a bit of this when I was up in Alaska.

  And now, I was doing it again, only this time with a damn headache that wouldn’t leave me be.

  I hated feeling weak. But that’s what I felt. Weak and like a fucking loser.

  “Caleb, how are we on that account?” Bobby asked as he walked past my door.

  I had a corner office. I made decent money, and I got to wear a suit if I felt like it. I got to get all snazzy with the clients, or wear jeans and a tee shirt and work down at the site. I loved my job, I really did, but right then, I hated that I’d had to move to this job because my brain couldn’t do what it needed to do.

  “Almost done. You need it?”

  Bobby shook his head. “No, just wondering. I’m working on mine, but you’re always better at overseeing stuff than I am. I have no idea how you can get all those details in your head done without having fifty spreadsheets open in front of you.”